Step back…to move forward!
Updated: Jul 31, 2020
Don’t let the title confuse you or for that matter – repel you! I would like to clear it all right at the outset that this is not a regressive school of thought or piece of work or something that would seem like a monotonous and painstakingly philosophical piece to read!
It might be a slightly Old School thought process or approach in bits and pieces, but believe me…certain things in life are best enjoyed, valued and cherished in their pure, authentic, original, natural & at times their orthodox form!
This coming from a Pro-Modern 27-year old might seem ironical and maybe bordering on hypocrisy…but that certainly doesn’t make it any less true nor invalidate it…in fact it accentuates the fact that going forward, racing ahead might be the way to be/live, but it’s equally important and essential & sensible that we pause, take a breather, reflect & analyse the incremental progress we’ve made, the ground we’ve covered and make amends if any. After all, life in the fastest lane too requires pit stops!
There was an age where “less was more”. “Contentment and satisfaction” had some meaning and relevance, Happiness was real and not made up or latched onto something material! We’ve reached a stage where even “more” is just not good enough!
Yes, I agree, that horizons have expanded, the world is a lot more connected, competition is fierce & information is abundant, or should I say unlimited & ever increasing. Understandably the call of the hour, the law of the land in such times is – “survival of the fittest” & to survive, one needs to be aware, well read and well informed. Information and knowledge is the crux & the distinguishing factor nowadays when it comes to grading our species. That being said, in no way does it mean that every teeny tiny bit of data needs to be fed into our already stressed out minds.
Not every news on the bulletin board needs to be mandatorily grasped; not every video or picture, quote or draft, fact or rumour needs to be shared on various social media platforms. Not every snap happening needs to be shared as a story & not every aspect of our day & life needs to be liked, loved, shared or commented upon. Nothing apart from a life or death situation is more important than to give yourself some peace of mind away from the hustle & bustle of the world & enjoy a quiet, private dinner with your loved ones!
There is a dire need, a desperate necessity & an overdue requirement for prioritisation across all stratums of the society…a voluntary detoxification, if you would want to call it. A conscious effort to value what really matters and what doesn’t, who matters and who doesn’t.
It’s time we get back to “Seeing” and move over “Viewing”. It’s time we start “Taking in” instead of “Checking in”. Time, we “chirped & cooed” a little more than we “tweeted!”
Without any kind of doubt, question or debate, the most intimate sense is the sense of touch. Yes, the sense of touch, the sensation of one individual’s skin in contact with another individual’s, in possibly the most tender & gentle manner.
In our madness & this monstrous race of moving ahead…we have lost this wonderful feeling too & instead of the sensitivity of a loved one’s touch what matters today is how sensitive is the touch of our smartphones or any other gadget for that matter! It’s a sorry state of affairs, but something that exists regardless! It is imperative that we get back to holding hands and embracing each other, instead of restricting ourselves to simply “poking” & ”nudging” each other!
Televisions are getting slimmer, while waistlines are bloating and blowing up!
Number of elevators & escalators are rising, but tell me honestly, are we - elevating, escalating or rising?
Contact lists are exploding, but the number of people we actually know or meet or talk to is diminishing faster than ever!
The world may be a Big Playground, but how many are even playing?
Connectivity may be getting advanced & strong, but saying that about our interpersonal bonds, would be criminally wrong!
We encourage and promote the philosophy of “Out of the Box” thinking, while we are ourselves slowly but steadily sinking deeper and deeper into the box! Be it TVs (Quite rightly termed as an Idiot Box), mobile phones, Laptops or even gaming consoles!
It wouldn’t really harm if we let go of the horse blinds & look around once in a while. Life was meant to be Beautiful & it indeed is, whether or not seen in High Definition! It’s high time we break the shackles & instead of being entrapped in an oculus & admiring the virtual reality, we bring out our binoculars & explore the real and “splendid actuality!”
We have always been taught that our eyes connect us to the outside world, our environment. Not only do they see the tangible effects on offer, but also the intangible, untold, unheard, unexplainable mysteries, emotions & feelings that another person’s eyes can convey emit & showcase in any given moment! For centuries – Eye Contact has not only been linked to a show of power, indication of fear, symbolism of respect, but also professed as one of the most romantic gestures!
We capitalised even on the uniqueness of something so wonderful & reduced it to a mere authentication tool, with eye scans taking over the intimacy of eye contact.
There really needs to be a state where we trust more, love more & connect more, because at times the eyes can speak volumes & express feelings & emotions that our limited and stunted vocabulary can never do justice to!
Having mentioned the most genuine and revered emotion of mankind - Love, it is a shame & and a pity that we have over a period of time quite craftily & deviously made of mockery of what “Love” stand for!
From being something that could alone hold the world in balance & make wonders happen, to being exploited & commercialised into becoming this grand materialistic charade! Even worse, being drastically misused, taken advantage of & made into a light matter by some & into a carnal desire by a lot of disgusting others!
It was never supposed to or meant to be reduced to a need, a want or an animal like desire, which has just not made it disgusting, but also broken the entire of foundation it stood on…making it unsafe, non-secure, & made life distasteful!
Wasn’t there a time when it was a person’s virtues & character that we fell in love with and not just the bodily attributes? Wasn’t beauty measured in the quality of the heart and soul within, in place of how it stands today on the basis of colour, weight, height & other physical characteristics? Why is it that something so pure, something so blissful is being tarnished into a phenomenon which only a few people are lucky to have and experience instead of everyone getting their share of love, ownership & belonging!
We are way beyond the right time to right this wrong, but sooner the better, we need to erase this misguided revolution & learn to appreciate love in its best and unaltered, original form! This basically or predominantly comes from another institution – the institution of Respect! Something we have either forgotten or conveniently chosen not to adhere to. There is a strong need to respect one another & not just out of seniority, but just by their being! Be it respecting somebody’s flaws, someone’s privacy, people’s moods, their wants, needs, desires, wishes, or their physicality, mentality, sexuality spirituality etc.
Rising number of passion linked offences, ever increasing crime rates, falling sex ratios, scary levels of child abuses, rapes, revenge linked horrific acts…all of this is linked to a lack of respect for our fellow beings, absence of understanding the fine line between love and lust, or just the basic concept of someone’s personal space! It doesn’t require any rocket science to deal with this, rather if we just step back, think this through and churn our inner selves into making ourselves better human beings, each one promise their own selves if not anyone else, that they would behave in a dignified manner and be the best versions of themselves & be ready to stand in honour and support of anyone in need, instead of just being bystanders and have some compassion in their hearts, this world be a much warmer and nicer place to be in!
We have conditioned ourselves to not bother about others and become uncompromising, unthoughtful, over judgemental, biased, opinionated, selfish and so self-centred that no one ever gets respected the way they should be! Which is exactly why we need to step back, recondition ourselves & pull out our sensitivities from reservoirs deep within us, so that we can Live, Love, Laugh & travel through life the way it is designed to be!
As a reminder for all of us who seem to have forgotten what it is like or how it is done…it is not an exhaustive/ all-inclusive one-stop formula that governs interpersonal equations, but for sure the littlest of things count, the smallest of gestures work & can take your day from being the most cranky, negative, depressing one to being the most special, endearing & amazing one that could last in your heart and mind for a lifetime!
Trust me, the most special things in life, still are the ones that are customised, self-created, hand crafted or basically done straight from the heart, from within your soul! What touches your soul is sure to strike a chord with the one you love and adore!
It could be a burnt cake, a stick figure drawing, a horrible and coarse voice recording, a cup of tea under a tree in the rains, the brush of the hand, or a simple note that reads – “I Love You” or that says…”I’ve missed u so much!” Doesn’t necessarily have to be a room full of flowers, a diamond necklace, branded accessories or a 7-tiered cake each time!
It is the thought that counts, the heart that loves unconditionally, the touch that shows a sense of security & the eyes that see deep into the soul that matters, not the scale of the act!
(However, you may want to step up the ante every once in a while, after all he/she is special! <3)
So step back and see the difference in not just people around you, but also in yourself and the way you function and the way you are perceived!!
For instance, or for that matter, for the inexperienced or the emotionally stunted or distant folks, who have been swept over by the rifts created by the modernization of our times…
Ø Those who just communicate coldly via emoticons, please come down to using words, the opposite person at least deserves that much of your time and attention! Not just that…words also help foster communication, which is the essence of any and every relationship!
Ø Those who use words could resort to being more elaborate, clear & emphatic in expressing their feelings instead of resorting to – to the point replies or messages or one word/one statement messages! This not only offloads you but also conveys your emotions and/or intentions better!
Ø Those who are proficient with words, should pick up the phone and regardless of your voice quality or texture, just speak one-on-one and regale him/her with your voice, bringing a big wide smile, even if only momentary…to their face and make it glow and radiate, maybe even skip a heartbeat and thereby be the reason behind it!
Ø Active callers and talkers could step back in the hierarchy of aloofness and meet up in person as much as practical and possible. The joy of face to face conversations and exchanges is best experienced rather than told!
“Om” might be regarded as a really deep and therapeutic sound, but so is the sound of the 3 magical words – “I Love You”. Never underestimate the power, impact & worth of these words. Don’t however make them casual or superfluous, but definitely never ever stop confessing or conveying it to your loved ones…who knows they must be harbouring the same within themselves, out of fear, hesitation, lack of courage or awkwardness. A warm reminder of affectionate or an embrace never hurts, does it?
As a matter of fact…tell your loved one how much you love them and what they mean to you as soon as you reach the last word of this write up, be it your parents, your lover, or even your best friend & just see the magic unfold in their eyes, on their faces & in just about everything in & around you!
& remember…it’s never too late to take a little break, step back, relax & improve upon anything we value…after all, the bigger picture and clarity of thought is always the best when seen from an Eagle’s eyes, from a distance, away from the chaos & with full focus!